What I did at the Recurse Center

May 20, 2016

I wrote about what I did before I went to the Recurse Center, essentially about what I did to learn (or more accurately, begin to learn) to program, and now I want to write about what I did while I was there, and what I did just prior to being there, after I had been accepted.

I should have written all this while it was happening, but I didn’t. I remember a lot about the process of working on these projects, but I have forgotten just as much. I’ve forgotten the specific challenges and pitfalls I ran into at the time. I’ve forgotten a lot of what surprised me… perhaps more importantly, though, is that I’ve forgotten the perspective I had. I still remember having it, I just can’t access it. I wish I had taken more notes, I wish I had written more things, but I’ll try to write them now, as well as I maybe can.


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The very first thing I did after I was accepted was to not program at all for two solid weeks, and instead to take a trip to Copenhagen to get hazed by my girlfriend’s Danish uncles.

I came back in early January of ‘14, brain freshly pickled in snaps. I had around a month before my batch started, and a renewed vigor. Now freed from the idea that I “had” to learn Rails, I gave some more attention to the Ruby language, by itself, starting with a week or two working through the ruby koans. They were fun, and I really liked the format.

Sometime around then, the mailing list opened up for my batchmates to introduce themselves and coordinate housing and things like that. I wrote a little hello program, but I don’t think anyone ever ran it. That’s ok it was kind of silly.

I asked for suggestions for resources to learn low level programming. Real low level programming, this time, not brainfuck, which I thought was low level when I learned it, and in some way it is, I guess, but not in any meaningful sense of the way that term is actually used by real people. Rose Ames suggested “From NAND to Tetris: Building a Modern Computer from First Principles”.

Now if there is one thing I love, it’s first principles. I loooooove first principles. The idea of starting with something very simple and building out of it a giant system or an entire world is baked into the way I want to understand everything. I bought the book immediately, and spent the next three weeks working through it for as much time as I could find every day. It was really hard, and really good. I probably learned more from that book than any other single thing I did throughout this entire process, for real.

I got almost all the way through it, but I hit my limits the week before the batch started. I got the compiler to work, but I couldn’t find the desire to work on the OS. It’s really just as well… I needed a rest before things really kicked off, after all.

And then the batch started!


I’ll try to recall the rough order I worked on these projects, but it’s been two years now, so… sorry I guess, random internet person and/or irl friend.

The first thing I remember doing was pairing with Robert Lord on a battleship playing bot in Ruby for a fight club meetup later that week. Robert was so good! And like, seventeen years old. I hadn’t done too much pairing before RC and it was something I wanted to get a lot better at, so this was an auspicious start. We didn’t win the contest, but if I recall correctly we came in respectably in the middle of the pack. More importantly, it was a lot of fun, and it was the first time I went out in public and looked a stranger right in the eyes and told them I was a programmer. That was a pretty big step.

The rest of that first week I waffled between trying to decide what to work on for the batch and feeling guilty for not having finished / trying to finish Nand2Tetris (as it is colloquially known). I couldn’t get myself to finish it, and decided that as much as I wanted to appease the completest inside of me, it wasn’t worth working on it when I was so much more interested in other things, so I let it lie. I had gotten an enormous amount out of it, and most of what I wanted from it was in the low level parts anyway.


The second week I spent a day or so worrying about whether or not I should switch to Python. There were really only a few other Ruby people in my batch- it seemed like everyone else did python, and it was stressing me out. How could I pair with python people if I only knew ruby?

I talked with all the facilitators at least once about this, probably, and they all said the same thing, which is also in the user’s manual, and that was to stick with the language I knew the best and write things with it.

But I couldn’t shake the feeling that I should be using the language that most of the people around me were using, so I resolved to learn it. I spent a couple of days reading through some tutorials, doing some exercises… it all seemed very familiar, like I had already done this step… it was not super exciting.

On the third day of this, I was solving a project euler problem in Ruby and Python side by side. Halfway through writing the Ruby version, I really noticed how similar they were. They are really similar, especially on the surface, especially so at the level I was at at the time, which was pretty rudimentary, still, and I got really mad, actually, that I had been spending so much time fretting about this and buying into the fiction that all languages are incredibly different and that choosing one was like putting on a team jersey. I think I even stopped working on it mid line, actually.

They were right, of course, about sticking with what you’re comfortable with and exploring concepts and projects instead, but I needed to learn that the language you choose doesn’t matter that much in the end on my own, so that was worth a week, I think. It’s a hard lesson to learn as a beginner! I stopped feeling like I had to learn python, but I also stopped being afraid of it. Turns out that’s all you really need to be able to pair with someone in a less familiar to you language. Who knew?


Somewhere around the middle of the batch I participated in the traditional “I should have a blog which one should it be” week, decided on a static generator instead of wordpress, switched from middleman to jekyll and back, decided I should know how to host it myself, and then fought nginx config files and AWS for like another week . I also decided it would be good to be able to host my own apps and sites, and spent part of that time figuring out really boring server config type stuff. I polished up my rubik’s cube with keyboard bindings, made it look better, and hosted it on my own server. I spent a pretty long time, a few weeks probably, with this as my primary project. I can’t say that was super fun, the nginx docs are some of the least beginner friendly things I’ve ever read, but as it turns out a lot of that was really valuable experience. Never really did get any blog posts done, though, just one where I kind of shittily explain recursion even though I only kind of knew what it was, but A for effort?


I decided to learn Clojure. There were a few reasons for this. There was a sizable subgroup of my batch that was into it. It is a lisp, and traditionally, lisps have been used in generative music research. Also lisp was very exotic and seemed really hard, and trying things that would normally seem too hard is one of the things they told us to do in our batch. Unlike my hemming and hawing about python and ruby, clojure is actually different from anything I had done before… a completely different paradigm- both syntactically (zomg parens amirite?) and functionally (functionally). The ruby koans worked for me, and I found the Clojure Koans pretty approachable as well, so that’s where I started.

It didn’t take me long to discover Overtone, a Clojure wrapper library to interact with the software synth Supercollider. I had originally wanted to write a voice leading engine, but ended up writing a humdrum interpreter and player instead, called Fux. I think Fux was the biggest thing that I felt the most proud of doing while I was there, and it’s one of only a few things I gave a presentation on. It would read a textfile representation of a score of a Bach chorale, and then output the four voices as sine waves via Overtone. It really made noise! It was great!


I worked on quite a few smaller projects, too.

There was some more Euler solving, and some more pairing, and even some just plain old hanging out. It was an amazing group of people from an impressively wide array of backgrounds. There were at least half a dozen Phd’s in varied fields that had nothing to do with programming at all.

I was still teaching music throughout all of this; I had just enough students to keep my rent paid. But it meant that I usually had to miss most if not all of the Thursday night presentations, where my batchmates would talk about what they were working on and what they had made. I really regretted missing those, but there was nothing I could do about it. The presentations are so fun and so interesting and for some people it is the only time that they really put themselves out there and share the cool things they’ve been learning.

The last couple of weeks were filled with more intense interview prep, more “looking for jobs” type stuff, and general stressing out followed by marginally more partying than we had been doing. Then it was over. It both went fast and slow… so much happened, to be honest when I think back on it, it kind of feels like a full school year somehow, but three months is really not that long.


And that’s it. After hearing about RC, people often scratch their heads and ask… “but what do you learn there? are there classes? that doesn’t sound like it would work…”. I don’t blame the reaction- I had my own skepticism going in, but I also knew how powerful self directed learning could be.

It’s not magic dust- I spent three months with my hands on the keyboard, programming a lot of different things, surrounded by other people doing the same. If I got stuck, now there was someone who could get me unstuck sitting next to me, or across the room. If I got distracted, or didn’t know what I wanted to work on, I could just pair for a while with someone else, or watch what they were doing. There was no question I could think up that didn’t have an answer close by, especially at the level I was at going in, as one of the most inexperienced people there.

I spent a lot of time programming, and I got a lot better at it! That’s all there was to it, at the end of the day. It was super fun! If this sounds like something you might enjoy doing, you should totally apply!